Should I Quit My Job? - Elizabeth's Healing Story
by Laureen Rama

Elizabeth*, a woman who came to me for healing asked to be more trusting of herself and God-directed things, more discerning about what these were, and a blessing for the new directions she felt called to in her life. She received a soul part she lost at 5 that had the qualities of determination, perseverance, and a thirst for knowledge--I saw that it had left her when she was told she could not do something important to her. When I told the story to Elizabeth, she said she vividly remembered her disappointment at 5 at being told she could not go to school yet. She also received back a soul part that had left at about the same age of 5 or 6 that was very shy and appreciative of beauty and reminded me of a butterfly. She also received a 15 year old soul part from another lifetime that announced to me "I am a mighty healer," definitely confident in her healing gifts! I also removed energy blocks from different places in Elizabeth's body.

The afternoon after she saw me, Elizabeth got an agreement to do the four year homeopathy course she had been wanting to take. The next morning she quit her job so that she could partner with three others in opening a homeopathy clinic. Elizabeth had been wondering for months whether she should quit the security of her job to follow her dreams.

A few weeks later, Elizabeth reported that things had quickened in her life. She felt an overall sense of peace, she didn't anguish over things and although she still had doubts these were balanced by the faith she felt. She was more open to hearing new things and the world looked different to her--she saw things more clearly and they looked more beautiful to her.

In the follow-up work Elizabeth did with me to receive guidance through shamanic practice about how to integrate these returned essential qualities into her life, Elizabeth was told that to integrate the qualities of the first 5 year old soul part, she should not be afraid to ask silly questions. After asking how to integrate the quiet qualities of the other 5 year old soul part, she saw her surrounded by butterflies in a meadow and was told to play with her 12 year old son. Elizabeth felt the qualities the teen healer brought back: passion, physicality, and also a thirst for knowledge. Elizabeth felt she needed to dance and be physical to integrate these qualities. She also received power animal spirits that would support her in bringing these new qualities fully into her life.

A year later, Elizabeth is well into her studies as a natural healer, is enjoying working at the healing centre, and is well pleased with the new directions she has moved into. Her former place of employ has since gone out of business, which she finds ironic--the secure job she was afraid to leave would have ended anyways--and a reaffirmation to trust where she feels drawn to go.

*name has been changed and permission has been granted to share this story

to top

The Power of Forgiveness - My Grandfather's Healing Story
by Laureen Rama

As a shamanic healer and teacher, I am blessed to witness and hear inspirational stories everyday. The stories that move me most are those that prove the healing, restorative powers of forgiveness. Here is my own story.

After I had been practicing shamanically for a time, I started to sense my maternal grandfather's spirit around me. He had died ten years before and I was still angry with him. He had been a charming, abusive man I liked very much. He taught me to golf when I was 10. Trying to keep up with him as he powerwalked the fairways in the beautiful foothills town where he lived, was one of my first experiences of being treated like an individual. As I grew older though, my grandmother, who was separated from him, started to tell me horrific stories of beatings and other abuses. As he became an invalid with cancer, I witnessed how badly he treated his caregivers. I decided to have nothing more to do with him five years before he died, and refused to go to his deathbed.

Growing older, and learning about family patterns and cycles, I could see how my grandfather's behaviour had adversely affected our entire extended family, including me! I developed an underlying anger with him that never went away. When he started haunting me, I tried to ignore it. Then I realized his spirit wanted healing and I was a shaman. Despite wanting nothing to do with him, I didn't want to turn away a request for healing. I was also afraid to do this alone. He had hurt so many people before, what could he do now? I asked him to wait until I was at a workshop with thirty other shamanic healers.

At the workshop, I had three women support me in the healing--one drummed, one journeyed for guidance for me about my grandfather, and one journeyed to support me. I got into a meditative state and faced my grandfather's spirit. I asked my helping spirits what he needed to heal.

I saw that he held the soul parts of two little girls. I told him that this healing could be easy, he simply needed to release the little girls. He refused, which is normal. People are often afraid to let go of soul parts they've taken. They feel they need those parts to be okay, even though that's not true. I became angry and said "You've been haunting me for four months and now you won't do what you need to do to heal?" My bird power animal came and flew me away, and as I tried to cool off, I realized why it is much easier to perform healings for people you have no relationship with!

My bird took me far away to a scene where I saw that when my grandfather was 4 years old, his mother had taken a part of his soul. I went to visit her spirit and she was as my family had always described her--charming and strong-willed. She refused to let go of my grandfather. Exasperated, I thought "Does this run in the family?" Then I took some deep breaths and came back to my usual healing state of calm resourcefulness. I took her to see that her husband was waiting for her in that place that seems like Heaven, and if she would let go of my grandfather, she could join him there. She immediately dropped my 4 year old grandfather and joined her husband without looking back.

I barely managed to catch my grandfather as he fell through space. I felt sorry for him that his mother could throw him away so readily. I asked him to hang on to my back and then as we flew through a star-filled sky back to earth, I felt this mischievous, rambunctious, loving, laughter-filled imp on my back and felt an immense sadness that my grandfather lived his life without this wonderful energy. I started to cry as I felt the loss to him, and all those who had known him, of these qualities. I felt the empty frustration he must have felt that impelled him to do horrible things to others. I started to get angry with his callous mother and then realized that she might have a story like his too! Who could I really blame? Her parents? It wasn't so simple. I still felt angry with my grandfather--what he had done in his life was inexcusable, but I also felt immense compassion for him.

Then we landed back where the other part of my grandfather's spirit waited. I told him that, if he let go of the two little girls, I would reunite him with the 4 year old boy. He hesitated, but did let go. I told one girl to quickly go hide in the cubbyhole where she used to hide, to wait until the woman she had grown up to be was ready to call her home. I told the other girl to go stay near the woman she had been part of, until the woman was ready to integrate the soul part. (In cases like these two girls, the soul part will usually return to integrate on its own without the need for another formal healing by a shaman.)

Then I blew the 4 year old soul part into my grandfather's spirit. He started to fill out. He had always looked skeletal to me. He fleshed out and a golden light started to emanate from him. Then he started to float up. I knew he was going to where he now belonged. My heart was filled with compassion and awe--what a lovely man he could have been! He grasped my shoulders and thanked me and then, beaming, floated up and out of sight.

I then realized that I had never felt compassion for a man before. Love, yes; compassion for women, yes; but not for men. I forgave my grandfather and felt a new openness in my heart towards men.

As we came out of our shamanic journeys, the women supporting the healing told me their stories. One had also done healing for my grandfather. She said she saw many peoples' soul parts with him, and lots of other kinds of connections to other people. She released all of these and also took spiritual intrusions from his energy body. She said "Energy was flying all over the place--so much happened so fast!!" For me, she released some unhealthy psychic attachments I had to two women in my family.

The other woman had received a ritual that I could do to heal around my relationship with my grandfather and these two women. I was to write all their names on a piece of paper, blow on it, burn the paper in a bowl, keep the bowl and ashes near my bed, and blow on them every morning for nine days. In the ninth day I was to give thanks and bury the ashes. I did this a month later once I was home. It did bring closure and another sense of release and gratitude for the healing.

I wondered how this healing would affect others in our extended family and, two months later, I asked three family members if they had noticed anything different from the time I did the healing. They all said that they had. It was a subtle feeling--a new sense of peace had come into their lives.

Six months later, my grandfather's spirit started showing up when I was doing healing for others. At first I was wary. Then I realized he wanted to help me. He now helps me heal the spirits of abusive men. And when I am tired in my healing work, I feel him holding me from behind to support me, as he used to do when showing me how to hold a golf club. My grandfather has helped me realize that those who wound others are wounded themselves.

My healing work is so much easier now as I feel compassion for the abusers rather than disgust and anger. I also feel more optimistic knowing that healing, forgiveness, and redemption are possible, even after death.