Dance for the Dying
Shamanic practice at root of workshop to aid people dealing with grief

By Mario Toneguzzi
Published in Calgary Herald
April 13, 1993

They stand in the middle of the room dancing in free-form to the rhythmic beat of the music.

A song called Let It Go by Canadian artist Luba blares out of the speakers.

But the people in the room aren't dancing in a disco or a cabaret.

Their actions are taking place in a Dance For The Dying workshop, for people wanting to let go of loved ones who are dying or have died, celebrating their lives.

"People are starting not necessarily to trust the powers that be in authority any more," says Laureen Rama, the workshop leader. "Doctors can be wrong. Politicians can be wrong. People are educating themselves more about other possibilities and looking for other options."

Rama's workshop is based on shamanic practice. People do some deep individual work around a loved one's dying and develop personal rituals and powers to aid them in the process.

"The purpose is for people to be able to let go of that person - let go emotionally, psychologically. It may sound cruel - let go of them - but what they're really letting go of is their demands on the other person. When we're involved in a relationship, we often have expectations of another person and what they'll give us.

"But when someone's dying, they're closing in and they don't have a lot to give anymore. It's very hard to help someone go through the dying process if you're expecting things from them - support, friendship. If you can't accept that they're dying, you're not going to be very helpful to them in their process. It's really hard. You feel guilty, you're not being helpful. You're in grief but you're not really grieving.

The purpose of the workshop is to help people accept that this person is dying. Accept it. Let go of the expectations and just be there for the person."

"Shamanism is common to tribal cultures around the world. It involves direct contact with the spiritual world while entering a trance-like state. It involves a spiritual journey into another realm of reality."

The idea for the Dance For The Dying workshop came to Rama while on her own spiritual journey last year. A woman close to Rama was dying. She paid tribute to this woman's life by dancing.

People attending the workshop begin by sitting in a circle and sharing stories about why they are there. Rama then discusses and explains shamanic practice. She teaches people how to do it. It's a meditative practice where an individual goes into a mild trance and imagines going somewhere.

The first journey is to find your power animal - or your spiritual guide. In shamanic cultures, everyone has a power animal - a sort of guardian angel - and when a person finds that power animal it is empowering. The person realizes the qualities of that animal are present in the individual. It gives the individual strength.

Then people in the workshop celebrate those power animals by dancing as if they were those animals.

The next day, another meditative journey is undertaken where people ask the animal to take them to the spirit of the person that's dying or has died. They ask what they need to do to let go. Then people start journeys or rituals that may have come to them in a dream that would help them let go. A common thing is for people to ask the dying person about their life and anything they should know about. What should they do next?

As people go through the process, acceptance comes and they may also have done some healing themselves. The last part involves finding out how an individual can celebrate a dying person's life or their relationship. How they can pay tribute to that person.

Rama has held two of these workshops in Calgary. She plans to hold more as demand warrants. She originally thought people would attend who had already done shamanic practice or meditation, but she was surprised by the variety of people who were interested.

"They really trust that this sounds right. It sounds like the right thing to do."

In one case, a woman had seven people close to her die within six months. She came to the workshop a bit numb. She didn't experience a lot of the shamanic spiritual journeys, but often in her dreams she was in nature and very peaceful.

In that particular workshop, everyone came in very tense, on edge but willing to take a risk, and they all left feeling peaceful and quite powerful, too. And that's the encouraging thing for me," says Rama.

For further information on the workshops, call Rama.

Laureen Rama is available to lead retreats and workshops for private groups. She also teaches advanced shamanic healing techniques and offers shamanic healings in person or by distance.
Laureen can be reached at info@soulrestore.com or 1-403-851-1198.